Reader Request: Friends With Benefits (FWBs) vs. Girlfriends

I’ve been following WordSmith’s Journal for a while now and I have found all his posts witty, intelligent, engaging and honest. This post is no different, and I am even more appreciative because it is a response to a question I asked in an earlier post.

The WordSmith's Journal

Hello everyone! I hope you’re all doing well and that wherever you are, the weather isn’t freezing you or boiling you. A reader requested that I write on a particular topic (hence the title) and so I’m going to go ahead and do that today. Here’s a portion of her question, with some bits edited for french lol.

“So, what criteria do men use to choose the girls they *beep* and the ones they actually enter a relationship with. Now, I know that every man has his reasons, but what would you say is the most likely rationale for that thinking. Especially when said guys are really close acquaintances, some of them friends even, and they give you the bullshit of you being a great girl, their personal paddie who is a great catch, but they don’t seem to see you as that girl they can get into a relationship with…

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The start of the journey

After having my hair in braids for about six weeks, and in a weave for four weeks before that, I decided to go natural. Why? I can’t honestly say. It was a combination of events, words, books and speeches that led me to it. I had just finished reading Americanah (a review of that lovely novel coming soon) and watching Chimamanda Adichie’s interviews and I realized something, natural hair really is gorgeous. Now, I have quite a lot of friends who are natural and I have been seeing natural hair around, but it never really clicked for me. Yet, just a couple of days before I was to take out the braids and make the regular appointment with my hairdresser, I read a novel, saw a couple of interviews, viewed some blogs and I decided that I’d had enough of my scalp always getting burnt with the relaxer. It has always been a sore point for me. I’ve been relaxing my hair since I was eight and every single time, my scalp suffered and it would always take a couple of weeks for it to heal. Now why the hell would I put myself through that shit every six to eight weeks to get straight hair that would start to fizz and thicken three to four weeks after that? And don’t get me started on how the rain ‘ruined’ my straight and beautiful hair. It made absolutely no sense.

Hair out of braids

Continue reading The start of the journey